What is your favorite quote?
Letting go of the pain is not about forgetting the past; it’s about remembering the future.
Tag: Love
Respect
What’s a skill you consider basic, that most people don’t actually know how to do?
When I was younger, we were taught respect; for our elders, for teachers, especially for our parents. And respecting those people gave us a high level of self-respect.
But that education is very rare today. People grow up, and are even being raised, to not respect anyone else, to believe that they are the most important person in the world, and that no one else’s rights matter. As a result they don’t even respect themselves.
So, what basic skill is missing that most people don’t know how to do it? Respect for others, which in turn generates self-respect.
Words, Geiriau, Parole, Palabras, Mots, Palavras, 👋
Which languages do you speak and how did that impact your life?
Being able to speak a language is relevant. We use a very limited vocabulary every day, but we know a lot more words than we use. Therfore, we may understand a lot more words than we can speak. But we don’t need too many words to get by, and to get our basic needs met.
I grew up speaking English and went to a Welsh medium school, but I didn’t use Welsh until one of my sons went to school. We were living in a predominantly Welsh area, and we felt he would benefit from being educated in the Welsh stream, so I re-learned the language.
Three years ago, my youngest two were playing around with a language app but always running out of ‘lives’ with the free version. So, I paid for the family version of the app and decided that I wasn’t going to waste the money. I would learn Italian, like I’d always wanted to but never gotten around to it.
Since then, I’ve moved on to other languages. So, as of today, I speak:
English, Welsh, Italian, Spanish, French, Portuguese. I can also sign a limited vocabulary in British Sign Language.
How has it impacted me?
I first realised the significance when I was sitting behind a young man who was a deaf mute. His interpreter and family had gone to get lunch for him and he was sitting alone in the midst of all these people enjoying their own conversations.
I tapped him on the shoulder and spelled out, “Hi. My name is Michael.” And I’ll never forget the sheer joy on his face over the fact that someone had ‘spoken’ to him in his language.
I’ve had similar experiences with others, over the years. Even a simple greeting in the person’s mother tongue makes a huge difference in their life. Suddenly, they’re not alone. Suddenly, they have a friendly face in front of them instead of a sea of potentially frightening mystery.
Why does this happen?
A friend told me about a conversion he once had with a native Welsh speaker. It went something like this:
“When I converse, I converse in Welsh or English. When I watch TV, I watch TV in Welsh or English. When I go shopping, I go shopping in Welsh or English. When I pray, I pray in Welsh. That’s the language of my heart.”
That’s the impact. We talk of speaking in someone’s ‘native tongue’. What we really mean is speaking in the language of their heart.
Then there’s our heart. Our heart expands when we learn another language. Our heart is touched because we’ve touched someone else’s heart.
And when we touch someone’s heart, anything can happen.
Let’s See How We Go
What’s a time you followed your gut and it turned out to be exactly right?
It was the end of our 37th wedding anniversary holiday when my wife and I stopped at the Pont-ar-Daf car park at the foot of Pen y Fan in the Brecon Beacons for a rest after a long drive. We decided to stretch our legs a little with a stroll up the path leading to the summit. I had reached the top with a friend a few weeks earlier but my wife had never attempted it.
After a short walk, I asked my wife, who suffered from mild asthma, if she wanted to go back to the car. She asked me what the view was like from the ridge that we could see. I said it’s worth seeing and she said, “Let’s see how we go.”
We walked on steadily, one foot in front of the other, got to the ridge and, indeed, the view was worth the effort. I asked if she was ready to go back to the car and she asked which peak was Pen y Fan. When I pointed it out she said, “Let’s see how we go.”
We kept waking and reached the summit, with its view across the whole of South and Mid Wales just as everyone else was leaving. We were left alone at the top for about ten minutes. It was probably the most emotional experience of our lives together.
We took the required photos and just sat there, alone together, tears in our eyes from the waves of emotions. Getting to the top at the end of an anniversary holiday was well worth the effort. It was a shared experience that drew us even closer together than we had ever been before. And all because of her gut feeling, “Let’s see how we go.” It was the first and only time we ascended Pen y Fan despite living in its shadow for over 40 years together.
The following year, there was upheaval in the family. But that shared experience had given us the strength to keep going and just “see how we go,” one foot in front of the other, in the face of trials.
I rarely directly share personal experiences, but this one has kept me going despite everything that life has thrown at us.
Just over five years later, my wife’s asthma turned out to be lung cancer, and she passed away a few months before what would have been our 43rd anniversary. But that shared experience has kept me going, still dealing with the upheaval in the family, still putting one foot in front of the other, still telling myself, “Let’s see how we go.”
The Box
Memories and feelings
All wrapped up in cotton wool
And bubble wrap;
Gently placed inside the box
With polystyrene pieces
And packs of desiccant;
Sealed and marked,
“Do not destroy,”
And archived.
For now, I have no need
Of memories or feelings;
Now that you’ve gone
And left me all alone
To face the bleakness of a future
Filled with sadness,
Filled with tears,
Filled with grief,
And uncertainty
Maybe, some day,
Our great grandchildren
Will look inside
To marvel at the love we shared.
“How quaint that they should be
Together, Oh so long!”
And give us pride of place
Upon their shelves
And mantels.
Or maybe you and I
Will reunite
To open up the box
And let the memories rekindle
The love that bound us
Together, forever;
To set the feelings free
To flood our hearts
And souls.
‘These three remain:
Faith, hope, and love;’
Anchors for this lonely soul
To which I cling with calloused hands
That long to feel
The softness of your cheeks.
Faith, hope, and love
That soon we’ll reunite
In Paradise.
Greenacre 9 