Tag: Decisions

Grandpa’s Way: Consequences

We must never leave our children in a position where they could be harmed by the consequences of their actions. Still, there’s a difference between being harmed and learning lessons. How do we teach them that everything they say or do has consequences, good or bad?

What do we do when things go wrong? It’s so easy to get frustrated and blame someone else. But what if we really were the ones who got it wrong? Would we take responsibility for our actions?

That’s what’s missing with many people, today. They are happy to blame others for their problems without thinking about their own contribution to the issue. The result is a generation of people who think that the whole world belongs to them; who are so hung up on their “entitlement” that other people’s rights are ignored, pushed into the background, or even trampled on.

As parents, we have a responsibility to raise our children to accept the consequences of their actions rather than protecting them from the educational opportunities.

Protection versus Responsibility

Yes, we have a duty of care; and we must never leave our children in a position where they could be harmed by the consequences of their actions. Still, there’s a difference between being harmed and learning lessons. For example, if our son was caught speeding and we paid the fine, what would he learn? Yes, we might lend him the money to pay; but if we insist that he finds a way to pay it back, then he will learn the lesson rather than think he is entitled to speed.

There are lots of areas where this is so. From an early age we can, and should, teach children to apologise. We should teach them that they are not entitled to other people’s things, that taking without permission is wrong, that it’s not theirs, just because they happen to want it, or that they have it in their hands.

Responsibility is an attitude of mind and heart. We need to teach our children to be responsible and accept the consequences. But that will only happen if we demonstrate that attitude, ourselves.

Being a High Flier

Red Kite

I’m a high flier

Yet I know when to descend

And I do – quickly

I apologize for the photo being somewhat grainy. I scanned it from a photo, some years ago, when scanning hardware and software were not what they are, today. I also had the problem of tracking its flight path with an entry level camera. Still, I’m happy that I managed to get this level of clarity.

There are many people who pride themselves on their high flying positions. Sadly, they don’t seem to acknowledge that at some time they are likely to have to come down, often very quickly.

Like all predatory birds, the Red Kite knows the right time to descend; and it does so with amazing speed because it knows that its life depends on it.

What a pity that people in senior positions cannot absorb that mind-set. Maybe it would save them from a lot of health problems and a lot of embarrassment.

Life is not about how high a position you can achieve, but about keeping your feet firmly planted in reality. Failure to do this could mean, not a controlled descent, but a crash landing.

Good Enough Really Is

What’s a fear you’ve overcome — and how did you do it?

I grew up with the fear of getting it wrong. I always felt that nothing was ever good enough for my mother, and that I was constantly being criticised when, in fact, she was probably only trying to do what was best for me, encouraging me to be the person she knew I could be.

Let’s be honest, most of us have had it drummed into us that “good enough isn’t” (good enough).

Then I learned the Pareto Principle. 80% of the benefit results from 20% of the effort. And I suddenly realised that good enough really is good enough. We aren’t perfect. We are going to make mistakes. There are very few, if any, areas in life where perfection is essential. So why waste 80% of our effort trying to correct that last 20% which no one except the most critical perfectionist (which is often ourselves) will notice, anyway.

Resolution–The First Day of the Rest of Your Life

What do we mean by a resolution? It can mean any of several things. But in this context, we analyse a bad habit and determine to change, in the future.

Sunrise

Many people decide to make New Year’s Resolutions on 1st January, every year. Sadly, for most people, their resolve does not last as long as it took to make the resolution.

Yet, what do we mean by a resolution? It can mean any of several things. But in this context, we analyse a bad habit and determine to change, in the future.

I did see a humorous take on this, recently. I don’t have the reference, at the moment. If I find it I will share it. It went along the lines of: “My wife told me that this year I should make a resolution that I can achieve. So I resolve to be the fattest, laziest couch potato that I can be.” Sadly, this is the reality for too many people.

Why Resolve Now?

People see a new year as a new beginning. Yet, is it, really? Who decided that January 1st is the first day of the new year? The Chinese new year doesn’t start on January 1st. The Indian sub-continent celebrates the new year at various dates, depending on where you live and which religion you follow, but is generally March 31st for many. For Muslims, the new year starts in October or November.

If you are in business, you may have a number of new year dates. For personal tax purposes, the new year starts on 6th April, every year. For certain aspects of limited company tax matters, it is April 1st. For your business, it could be any time. I have known clients who start their financial year on 1st April, 6th April, 1st January, the first of any month that suits them, and one client whose financial year started on 2nd October. Why? Because that was the date he started his business, all those years ago, and he was sentimental about it.

A Symbolic New Start

The point is that what we are looking at is merely a symbolic day. Let’s be honest, changing habits takes longer than the time it takes to sleep from one day to the next. So what we are really saying is that this is going to be the first day of our new lives.

However, why wait until January 1st? We can start a new life at any time. I’m sure you have heard the old adage that “this is the first day of the rest of your life.” That is true, every day. Every morning that we awaken, life starts over. We may have to deal with the legacy of yesterday’s events. But we don’t have to repeat them.

So make this your determination: That each day, from now on, as soon as you identify something in your life that you want to change, you will not wait until January 1st to change it. You will start immediately.

After all, if your roof started leaking on January 2nd, would you wait another 364 days before fixing it? If your business was struggling for sales, mid-year, would you another six months before acting? It’s the same with personal habits. Why wait until next year before changing?

Do it now, whenever now happens to be. Otherwise, it may never happen.