Successful people sometimes fail despite how hard they tried.
Unsuccessful people fail because they didn’t try at all.
Tag: Coping
Never Give Up
What’s a promise you made to yourself that you’ve actually kept?
I’ve always had a reputation as someone who doesn’t give up when things get tough. That hasn’t always been the case. But I’ve always said, “Don’t tell me it can’t be done because that will only challenge me to find a way to do it.” And in trying to stick to that, I’ve achieved remarkable results, even if they weren’t earth shattering.
But that habit kept me going when my wife passed away, leaving me to raise two foster children, both under ten years of age. Many people thought I would give up. But sitting down to dinner with them, today, nearly nine years later, I haven’t given up. And I don’t intend to. I’ll stick to the task, hopefully until it’s finished. And if I don’t get there, it won’t be for lack of trying.
No Good Crying Over Spilt Milk
What’s a lesson you’ve learned recently that shifted your perspective?
We spend all our time trying to control every aspect of our lives. But the reality is that we have very little real control.
A lot of our lives are controlled by others, or by our circumstances. Employees are controlled by their managers, managers by their directors, directors by the business owners, business owners by the market demand. Children are controlled by the needs of their children, and children by the needs of their parents.
And even when we have free time, our freedom is controlled by the circumstances around us.
Take yesterday, as an example. My plan was to work around the house. Then my son called to tell me that he was available to help me with a different task. So, I drove to his house to collect him.
Leaving his home, we were greeted by a number of neighbours asking if it was my car. Yes, it was. Because a bus has just hit it, and the driver took his bus and left the scene before exchanging insurance details.
And that meant that after caring for the heavy lifting with which my son had come to help, and taking him home, I spent the day making reports to the police and insurance company. And now I’ll have to go through the trials of getting the car repaired. And because the bus driver is unknown, I’ll have to pay the excess on my insurance.
What have I learned? That we’re not as “in control” as we’d like to think we are.
How does it change my perspective? It’s a car. No one died. No one even got injured. It’s just a car.
Was I able to do what I wanted to, yesterday? No. I’ll have to do that today. But there’s no point worrying about it. As the saying goes, there’s no good crying over spilt milk. It’s gone. Like the time I’d set aside yesterday, it’s gone. No point worrying about it. I’ll never get that time back. And there’s nothing I can do about it.
So why worry? Why get angry? Will it help get my car fixed? No. Will it make me feel better? No. Will it get the bus driver punished? No. All it will achieve is cause me stress, and shorten my life. So why worry? Why get angry?
Instead, channel that energy into positive acts that get things done.
The positive side of yesterday was that I had less time available, so I carried out a different, shorter task. And strangely, that made a bigger difference than everything I’d planned but couldn’t do!
What Counts is How Often You Get Up
What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years” — and what got you through it?
It’s easy to think about hard times. And it’s easy to give in to them.
But the reality is that it’s not the hard times that we have to worry about. It’s what we do about them.
Because it’s a true today as it’s always been. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall. What counts is how often you get up again. And only you can do that.
Want What You Have
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
I grew up in the town I’m now living in. But I haven’t always lived here.
I moved away when I was aged 20. I was away for 30 years. And I chose to come back “home”, 20 years ago.
But what I learned is that contentment comes from wanting what you have.
If you want what you have, then you’ll automatically have what you want.
