When we are struggling to cope with the things that life throws at us, it’s easy to think that the whole universe is conspiring against us. We know it’s not true. It simply feels that way.
I once spoke with a woman who raised this very issue, but from a more balanced point of view. She rightly pointed out that she feels that despite trying to do good to others, bad things keep happening in her life. But then she explained that when she sees what some people have to endure she realises that she’s not so badly off, after all.
So many people think they are stressed, these days, it would be interesting to see if we can learn to stop worrying about everything and start enjoying life.
Why worry about what you cannot change? It’s far more important to deal with issues than to worry about them.
We lead such busy lives, today. We are surrounded by clutter. We buy too much and spend too much and eat too much and leave too much lying around.
Yes. I admit that I’m as guilty as anyone else. I have to make a conscious effort to clear my desk every night. I have to make a conscious effort to put things away. And I don’t always succeed.
But the biggest clutter comes from other people. How often have you planned some activity, only to answer the telephone and hear the pleading voice confirming that you are the only person in the whole wide world who can help and it’s really, really, desparate, and if you don’t help the caller doesn’t know what he or she will do?
And how many times have you given up your day out to go and help, only to find that it was something that could have been put off till another day?
That’s why we need to schedule personal time every week. We need time for our immediate family – which does not include the children who have left home. And we need time for ourselves, too. We need to protect that time. Don’t let anything trivial get in the way. We have our own needs to take care of. And if we don’t look after ourselves, we will not have the resources to look after anyone else.
This is where we need to learn the power of ‘No’. We need to learn that our time is precious and must be protected. Yes, there will be emergencies. But as one fridge magnet puts it, “Bad planning on your part does not constitute a crisis on my part.”
After all, there will always be other opportunities to look after the grandchildren; opportunities when you can plan fun activities, rather than being stressed about what you cannot do or should do or could be doing. But a date night with your mate, that’s prcious.
It’s so easy to get all worked up about trivialities when you’re tired. And yet that’s the very time we need to have peace in our lives. I know. I’ve been there.
But the majority of our stress often comes from things that we cannot change. So we need to learn about our own capabilities. Look at what we can change and get on and do it.
We also need to learn to identify those things that are important, especially if they impact on other people. Those are the things that we should concentrate on changing.
Yet even then, if we cannot change the circumstances, why get stressed over it? Leave it in the hands of those who have both the means and the authority to act. And that allows us to de-clutter our minds so that we can concentrate on the things that we can change.
I’m not suggesting that we adopt an uncaring attitude. I worry just as much as anyone else about those people who are affected by natural disasters. I have friends who have been affected by them. But I don’t have the circumstances to go and help them to rebuild. I have other friends who are far more capable at that than I am. Still, I can support them in other ways.
But being concerned does not mean being miserable. I know that my friends who have been affected by those disasters are equally concerned about me and my circumstances. And we all simply get on with life and deal with those things that we can change.
And that gives us a mind clear enough to get through each day.
Greenacre 9 