Tag: Decisions

In Search of Perfection

What’s something you used to worry about but don’t anymore?

Wanting to be perfect is not a bad thing. It helps us to always strive for improvement. But we still need to remember that we’re not perfect. We are going to get it wrong at times.

I used to worry about this. I wanted everything I did to be perfect, mainly because nothing I did ever seemed to please others. This was coupled with the common fallacy, “Good enough, isn’t (good enough).”

Then I came across two concepts that made me think.

The first was a building drawing for the carpenters. Having gone to great lengths to specify proper dimensions the architect’s drawing pointed to one piece of timber with the dimension, “Fit on site.” The exact dimension was to be adjusted by the carpenter, depending on what had been done previously, because building with bricks and mortar isn’t an exact, or perfect, science.

The second concept was the Pareto principle. 80% of the results come from 20% of the work. It means that we could be spending most of our time achieving very little.

And then it struck me. Just because we like consistency, it isn’t always necessary. Otherwise we would all look and act and speak the same. We would be robots. But what’s attractive about humans is the differences between us. We love those differences. We love not being perfect replicas of each other.

And suddenly, perfection didn’t matter so much any more. As someone pointed out to me, decades ago, a shirt that’s a perfect fit for one person will not fit someone bigger or smaller. Perfection is relative.

And now, I don’t worry about it any more. Yes, my perfectionist tendencies still make me feel bad, sometimes, especially in the face of negative criticism. But I’ve learned to take a step back and challenge my perfectionism. And it doesn’t worry me so much anymore.

Never Be Anxious

What’s a quote that perfectly describes your outlook on life?

Never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Each day has enough of its own troubles.

It’s not always easy to live by this principle, but it gets me through most days.

Respect

What’s a skill you consider basic, that most people don’t actually know how to do?

When I was younger, we were taught respect; for our elders, for teachers, especially for our parents. And respecting those people gave us a high level of self-respect.

But that education is very rare today. People grow up, and are even being raised, to not respect anyone else, to believe that they are the most important person in the world, and that no one else’s rights matter. As a result they don’t even respect themselves.

So, what basic skill is missing that most people don’t know how to do it? Respect for others, which in turn generates self-respect.

Failure or Success

Successful people sometimes fail despite how hard they tried.

Unsuccessful people fail because they didn’t try at all.

Random Thinking

Do you think everything happens for a reason?

What’s strange about this question is that many people don’t believe in any sort of supreme being, but they believe everything happens for a reason, which suggests that someone is in control.

Confused yet?

Then add to that the fact that, if everything happens for a reason, there’s no point teaching our children to be careful when crossing the road, or using knives, or carrying scissors. After all, if everything happens for a reason, then we have no control over it.

Interestingly, many do believe in a supreme being, God, and that his sayings are recorded in the Bible. One of those sayings, recorded at Ecclesiastes 9v11 is, “time and chance happeneth to them all.” In other words, he does not control everything that happens to us. He gave us free will. And accidents happen.

We like to think that everything happens for a reason because, when accidents happen, we don’t want to be held responsible for our actions; we want to blame someone else.

Because the truth is that things often do happen for a reason; for the reason that we made a choice. All our choices have consequences, whether good or bad. And we need to stop trying to find someone else to blame and start taking responsibility for our own choices.