Tag: Self-care

Grandpa’s Way: Consequences

We must never leave our children in a position where they could be harmed by the consequences of their actions. Still, there’s a difference between being harmed and learning lessons. How do we teach them that everything they say or do has consequences, good or bad?

What do we do when things go wrong? It’s so easy to get frustrated and blame someone else. But what if we really were the ones who got it wrong? Would we take responsibility for our actions?

That’s what’s missing with many people, today. They are happy to blame others for their problems without thinking about their own contribution to the issue. The result is a generation of people who think that the whole world belongs to them; who are so hung up on their “entitlement” that other people’s rights are ignored, pushed into the background, or even trampled on.

As parents, we have a responsibility to raise our children to accept the consequences of their actions rather than protecting them from the educational opportunities.

Protection versus Responsibility

Yes, we have a duty of care; and we must never leave our children in a position where they could be harmed by the consequences of their actions. Still, there’s a difference between being harmed and learning lessons. For example, if our son was caught speeding and we paid the fine, what would he learn? Yes, we might lend him the money to pay; but if we insist that he finds a way to pay it back, then he will learn the lesson rather than think he is entitled to speed.

There are lots of areas where this is so. From an early age we can, and should, teach children to apologise. We should teach them that they are not entitled to other people’s things, that taking without permission is wrong, that it’s not theirs, just because they happen to want it, or that they have it in their hands.

Responsibility is an attitude of mind and heart. We need to teach our children to be responsible and accept the consequences. But that will only happen if we demonstrate that attitude, ourselves.

Good Enough Really Is

What’s a fear you’ve overcome — and how did you do it?

I grew up with the fear of getting it wrong. I always felt that nothing was ever good enough for my mother, and that I was constantly being criticised when, in fact, she was probably only trying to do what was best for me, encouraging me to be the person she knew I could be.

Let’s be honest, most of us have had it drummed into us that “good enough isn’t” (good enough).

Then I learned the Pareto Principle. 80% of the benefit results from 20% of the effort. And I suddenly realised that good enough really is good enough. We aren’t perfect. We are going to make mistakes. There are very few, if any, areas in life where perfection is essential. So why waste 80% of our effort trying to correct that last 20% which no one except the most critical perfectionist (which is often ourselves) will notice, anyway.

Smile

What’s the best way to build self-confidence?

No matter what happens in life, smile.

When you smile, you feel good about yourself regardless of what’s going on around you. When you smile, you know you can cope. Smiling is the way to tell yourself, “I’ve got this. Nothing is going to take away my peace.”

It’s Getting Up That Counts

Failure is successfully finding a way that does not work, and the only thing we can really control is the way we respond.

Disappointments happen; and we need to get used to it. We are going to have bad times as well as good; and the only thing we can really control is the way we respond.

When we fall, there is a temptation to think that we are failures. But that is not necessarily true. It has often been said that failure is successfully finding a way that does not work. That’s a good way to look at it. Psychologists call it reframing. It’s a matter of looking at things from a different perspective; changing the way we think about things; viewing failure as an opportunity to learn. It’s a matter of seeing the potential in each situation. As was once said, when you’re at the bottom, the only way is up.

Continue reading “It’s Getting Up That Counts”

Take a Deep Breath – It Will Improve Your Vision

Deep breathing has long been proven to be a fine method for calming the nerves.

A colleague once offered a very interesting observation on life. There are at least three sides to every story: There is your view, there is my view, and there is the truth, usually found somewhere in between.

I like the idea. Too many complications come from misunderstandings. People have been killed because of seeing things from different perspectives. So how can we simplify our lives in our interactions with other people?

Take a Deep Breath

Continue reading “Take a Deep Breath – It Will Improve Your Vision”