Category: Observations

My Choice

No one can “make” us angry. Whatever happens to us, we have a choice as to how we respond.

We have looked at the value of solitude, confidants, and groups. We have looked at how to deal with other people’s choices when they impact on our lives. Now it’s time to look at the things that we can control. And it’s important to start with our choices.

We have already touched on this subject in the previous post, Not My Choice, where we looked at our circles of influence and concern. We highlighted the need to concentrate on those matters that we can influence. Now let’s go deeper.

Continue reading “My Choice”

Not My Choice

How do you stop someone else’s bad planning, or even their poor decision-making, from upsetting your day?

I used to have a sign above my desk that said, “Bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.” There are other versions of this but they all carry the same message: “I have no intention of becoming stressed just because you are.”

But how do you stop someone else’s bad planning, or even their poor decision-making, from upsetting your day?

Continue reading “Not My Choice”

The Power of Three

How can we use the power of a third person, or more, in calming our anxieties?

We have looked at the importance of solitude – having time to ourselves. And we have looked at the importance of companionship – having a confidante. Now we are going to look at the importance of having more than one or two people in our lives.

There are many references to the benefits of a large circle of friends. Nearly three thousand years ago the Bible said that there is wisdom in the multitude of counsellors. And even today the concept of a neutral observer or arbitrator is widely recognised. So how can we use the power of a third person, or more, in calming our anxieties?

Continue reading “The Power of Three”

The Power of Two

Solitude is important. We all need time alone with our own thoughts. But it is also essential that we do not isolate ourselves. As mentioned in my previous article, The Power of One, isolating ourselves from other people can lead to selfish thinking.

Solitude is important. We all need time alone with our own thoughts. But it is also essential that we do not isolate ourselves. As mentioned in my previous article, The Power of One, isolating ourselves from other people can lead to selfish thinking.

So, in addition to spending time alone, we also need good companionship. Why? Because there are times when we simply need to talk with someone. And, sometimes, we need someone in whom we can confide.

It isn’t always a matter of getting advice. Just having someone listen to us often helps us to deal with issues. I remember someone telling me that her friend was chopping wood, one day, and she went and sat on a swing, nearby. As he chopped, she talked. After some time she said, “Thank you. You’ve really helped me.” He said, “Actually, I haven’t said anything.” Then she realised he was right. He hadn’t said anything. Just having someone listening was enough to help her come to terms with the feelings she was experiencing after the loss of her husband. And this wasn’t even that close a friend. In fact, it hadn’t been more than a few days since she had met him and his wife. But he was a good listener. And it was enough for her to find peace and move on.

Now, just imagine how much more a close friend could achieve; especially if that close friend is someone we care for and who cares for us. It’s a beautiful experience.

So don’t be afraid to ask for help, especially from a close friend or, even better, your marriage mate. But remember, to have a friend, you have to be a friend. And that can lead to all sorts of peaceful possibilities.

The Power of One

We all need other people. We are designed for companionship. We thrive when we are in good company, especially in times of trial or adversity. In fact, that’s when we need each other most. Yet we also need time on our own.

We all need other people. We are designed for companionship. We thrive when we are in good company, especially in times of trial or adversity. In fact, that’s when we need each other most.

Yet we also need time on our own. We need time to contemplate the things that affect our lives and the lives of those we care about, no matter where they might live and no matter whether we know them personally or not.

That’s where personal time comes in. We need to be alone, sometimes, just to be able to make sense of life. We could say we need time to breathe; to refresh ourselves; to clear everyone else’s clutter from our minds so that we can get on with dealing with our own issues.

Continue reading “The Power of One”